New Zealand is Weird

Hello again!

Well, New Zealand really isn't weird, but there are some things here that definitely are weird. Like, for example, the current fashion style for teenage boys. For one, they favor neon-tinged clothing. Usually white t-shirts with neon decorative details. That isn't so bad (though the 1985 flashbacks can be disturbing), but what is awful is the hair. I mean really, truly a terrible mistake that they will all regret in five years. 

In keeping with the 1980s theme, they seem to favor the mullet. This is bad enough on its own, but they've made it infinitely worse by fashioning it into a mowhawk. It's the mow-mullet. Often dyed with a variety of colors. Most prefer blonde, but many others choose one of many colors of the rainbow. I will try to take photos so you call all experience the horror for yourselves.

Another horror I've just discovered within the last few hours: apparently the slang for weed here is "tinney." Seriously. The dreadlocked backpackers staying in my current hostel were discussing among themselves texting someone to make sure they got their tinney tomorrow. After verifying that they were, indeed, discussing drugs, I revealed that my last name is Tinney. They were impressed that my last name is slang for intoxication all over the world (in England, where one of them is from, a "tinny" is a can of beer). 

Earlier today, they were discussing celebrities and their drug use. Apparently they aren't using the right kind of drugs. Then they told me all about this "really mystical" drug called DMT or something. It's something (a chemical, I guess) that we release when we sleep. "And lizards have heaps of it, too. They even develop a third eye to protect it, inside their skulls. It's really amazing." 

I'm leaving tomorrow. 

There's a giant Santa Claus on the side of a building in Auckland. It's three or four stories high, if not larger. It looks like it was made out of paper mache. By the blind chick from Lionel Richie's "Hello" video. In other words, mangled. Furthering this frightening appearance is the fact that it "beckons" the children. His index finger moves, gesturing all to come near. It looks like a giant, three-story child molester dressed up in a Santa costume. Apparently it also used to wink. WTF, New Zealand? 

I wish that were the only thing I've noticed that seems designed to terrify rather than delight children. The Christmas window display at the largest department store in Auckland, for example. Again, mangled elfin puppets that looked like they would scurry into your homes and steal your possessions and pets. And a Rudolph with half a face. I guess they ran out of paper mache before they could finish the snout, so they just put a mouth on it. I didn't even take a picture of it. I don't want to scare my readers.

On an entirely different topic, there are some new labor laws here in New Zealand. Apparently they are implementing a 90-day trial period for all employees. I saw the Labor Secretary or something discussing it on TV. "This will help employers. If a woman, for example, were to become pregnant during this trial period, the employers would be able to dismiss those sorts of people without being accused of sexual discrimination." Um, those sorts of people? Whether or not it's within the 90-day trial, isn't it still sexual discrimination? 

Oh, random story. Today I was going into town, planning to drive because it was pouring rain. Another girl at the hostel, from Hong Kong, was also going into town. She doesn't have a car, so I gave her a ride. In the car, she asked if I was from Germany. Now, I seem to have developed some Madonna-esque pseudo-accent resulting in everyone thinking I'm from Canada, but I definitely don't sound like a German! She explained by saying, "Oh! Sorry. It's just that you're all white, with the same hair color. You all look the same... I can't tell you all apart." To be fair, this country is crawling with Germans and I am a teeny bit German. So there you go.

Uh, let's see. I hate going to the grocery store because I don't know many of the brands and can't decide what to buy. I wonder, "Is this bread good? Do people like this one better? Should I go for the Pam's cheese or the other brand? Should I buy the Kraft peanut butter because it's a company that also exists in the states so they probably know what it should taste like? Why are there so many brands of jam?!? What in God's name is a capsicum?!?" 

The answer to the last one is green pepper. I discovered that when I tried to get green peppers on my Subway sandwich and was met with a blank stare. This was better than the time I was ordering a burrito and couldn't understand the heavily-accented burrito builder. She kept asking if I wanted a certain ingredient. I finally answered, "I don't know what that is. I'm sorry." The mystery ingredient: vegetables. Um, oops. I do know what those are. 

Well, that's enough randomness for now. Next: hostel reviews!